


Phallic Flowers, Hidden Rainbows, and Glowing Diamonds

by vanibella



Series: The Silm Mythology AU [2]
Category: TOLKIEN J. R. R. - Works & Related Fandoms, The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Greek Mythology, Crack, Elven Crack, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-24
Updated: 2015-12-24
Packaged: 2018-05-08 23:08:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,565
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5516627
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vanibella/pseuds/vanibella
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Maitimo's found his sword. Run, bitch. Oh, and don't forget to deliver this either.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Phallic Flowers, Hidden Rainbows, and Glowing Diamonds

**Author's Note:**

> So this is the second installment in my Silm Myth AU series. Merry Christmas! Anyways, just a note about the names- I'm using everyone's mother name, but of course, there will be a number of individuals who do not have one, as they were not given or mentioned at all by Tolkien, so there's the explanation for my inconsistency. Also, comments are appreciated. Constructive, not destructive. And what you think of the series.

Findekáno had been lounging in the garden, enjoying a golden apple from his aunt’s orchard when a silver arrow flew past his cheek, missing him by just a few millimeters. The projectile embedded itself in the fruit, and he sighed as he made to discard the enchanted fare.

“Would it kill you to stop using me as target practice?” He called towards the direction of the arrow, a large sapling of redwood.

“I can’t help it, you’re so still most of the time, like a dummy.” Irissë, the culprit, jumped down from her perch in the tree. Her long hair was tied back into a ponytail, making room for the silver circlet that sat on her brow. She plucked the apple from her brother’s slack fingers and took a bite, raising an eyebrow at his wary expression.

“The arrow isn‘t poisoned, by the way. You can eat the rest of it.” Shoving the rest of the produce back into her brother’s mouth, she snickered at how he looked like a roast pig with an apple between his teeth.

Findekáno bit down angrily on the poor unsuspecting fruit, expressing his distaste at being laughed at. No doubt his sister thought he looked like a roast. “Tyelko’s looking for you.”

“Oh? Why?”

“Says that you have to attend this-”

“Right, right, Oromë’s animal cult thing.” Irissë dismissed the concern, half-heartedly waving at him and strolling past to inspect a honeysuckle bush. “In that case, I’ll be off then, though it won’t start until an hour or so later. I think.” She turned her head towards him, a white flower in her fingers. “Have you heard any wolves howling?”

“No.” Findekáno tilted his head in the direction of the wind. “I don’t think so, no.”

“Okay, good.”

They slipped into comfortable admiring after, observing the flora and foliage of the grounds in reticence. Their Uncle Finarfin must’ve been busy making everything look so fresh and so scenic, picturesque at best. Spring and summer was under his jurisdiction after all, and the world thrived under his bountiful rule.

The trees and saplings stood straight and tall and proud, the vines and crawling ivy on the stone walls pulsing with life, the emerald of the leaves overwhelming. The broad daylight lent everything a dazzling shine, turning all that had color into a shimmering silver and gold.

Bees and butterflies were humming around the vicinity, popping in and out of jewel-toned flowers, their yellows and blues ever radiant against the brilliant sheerness of each blossom’s hue. The fountains were gurgling happily, water spouting out in crystal clear streams and cascading over the statues of white marble in frothy white waves.

Everything in the garden was symmetrical, even and perfect, full of life and activity, the picture of a newborn spring. It was almost unbelievable that winter had even happened, almost all traces of the powdery white snow was gone, the verdant grasses now dominating the landscape.

“Hey, did you ever notice that these flowers look like dicks?”

“Thank you for ruining the mood, Irissë.”

“Anytime, brother dearest.” She paused, hands on her hips as she further surveyed the flowers. “I’m serious, though. Why do these flowers look like dicks?”

“Don’t ask me, this is Aunt Ëarwen’s garden. She’s a love goddess. Isn’t lust under her department too? And aren’t sexual innuendos part of the package?”

“I wonder what Uncle Finarfin has to say about that.”

As his sister continued to marvel over the phallus-like flowers in her corner of the garden, Findekáno allowed himself to think about a certain wisdom god, one who had red hair the color of rubies and grey eyes like a storm. Oh, how beautiful and golden the days were when-

“Hey, hey, did you hear that? That was a wolf howling, right?”

Findekáno cocked his head. It was quiet for a minute, and then there it was: the unmistakable cry of a wolf. He smiled at his sister.

“Have fun, Irissë. Hopefully you won’t come back drenched in blood again like last time.”

“That was wine, you pig. Anyways,” his sister leaned in for a peck on the cheek, “tell Mother I might be late tonight. Don’t want her bringing the entire family to search in the woods. That was embarrassing.”

Her brother shook his head, and then stepped back as she whistled. A large hind galloped out of nowhere, a golden blur to most mortal eyes. The sacred animal of his sister. He watched as she mounted the deer and then took off, waving good-bye over her shoulder. He waved, and then turned back in the direction of the palace.

 

\--

 

“Arakáno?” Anairë pushed open the doors to the chambers of her youngest, peering inside frantically. There was something that she wanted him to attend to, and it was best that it be done immediately, while the sun was still high. She sighed as she closed the door, empty-handed once more.

(But not before criticizing the chaotic state of the room and making a note to remind him to fix it. She was the patron of the household, hearth, and home after all, and it would not do to have children who did not live up to that. It was a sign that she wasn’t good at doing her job.)

“Where could you be?” She muttered, running a mental checklist of all the places that she had already searched. The throne room, the dining hall, the kitchens, the communal baths, the gardens, the agora…

“Mother?” A tall figure appeared in the hall, dark hair and sapphire eyes, confusion etched on his countenance as he watched his parent.

“Oh, Turukáno! Have you seen Arakáno?”

Whatever could she be doing at this hour, when she was supposed to be with the rest of his uncles and aunts convening with their grandfather? Nevertheless, he strolled over to greet her, stooping down to kiss both cheeks before answering.

“Last I heard, he was with the twins, causing trouble as per usual.”

“Tsk. I need him to deliver something for me.”

“….isn’t that-”

“Arakáno! There you are!”

Relief flooding her face, Anairë stepped out to embrace him, much to the god’s chagrin. Never mind that he was hiding behind a potted plant, Anairë needed to get to him as soon as possible. Turukáno scowled as he took in his brother’s disheveled appearance. Had he been capering around the stables again?

 “Hello, mother.” The youth allowed himself a moment to be enveloped in his mother’s arms, but quickly extricated himself, smiling weakly. “Do you mind?” He glanced around furtively, and then rushed over to his room, throwing open the door and locking it afterwards with a quiet click.

“He’s hiding. I knew it. Maitimo’s sword has been missing since this morning, and I’m pretty sure that our dear baby,” Turko sought to emphasize the word ‘baby’, his words dripping with sarcasm, “was part of the elaborate plot of stealing it and then hiding it.”

Anairë laughed. “You give him too little credit for his skills, darling. But, in case Maitimo does come this way, do you mind distracting him? I need to talk to our little dove.”

“Of course. In fact, I can hear his horse galloping this way right now. Quick, before he arrives.”

 

\--

 

Anairë unlocked her son’s room just as Turko went out to pacify Maitimo. Arakáno was there on the bed, eyes wide and trembling with nervous anticipation.

“He’s not in the hall, is he?” he whispered, standing close to his mother and pressing an ear to the wood. Up close, Anairë could better scrutinize the finer details of his bedraggled look. Mud and dirt was smudged on his arms and legs, his cheeks were flushed, his braids were undone and his tunic had rips at the bottom. Anairë plucked a stray piece of straw from his dark hair, and took his face into her hands. She smoothed the crease in his brow, quirking her lips as the tempest of worry disappeared from the god’s periwinkle irises.

“Come, Turko’s out entertaining him.”

“Wait. How did you unlock my door?”

Anairë fixed him with an exasperated look. Her son ought to know better. She was his mother.

“Of course I would know how to sneak into my children’s rooms. That, and I am the goddess of the household.”

“Good point.”

“Anyhow, I want you to do something. I would’ve asked the twins, but I imagine that Maitimo’s already thrown them off of Olympus, so I’m going to have to ask you instead.”

“Okay.” Arakáno tried to be attentive to what his mother was saying, but it was hard to, especially when he could hear his cousin and brother talking outside. What if Turukáno told on him?

His mother sighed and pulled him away, reassuringly patting a hand on his shoulder. “If Turko tells on you, he’ll have to report to me.”

“Oh, okay. So what do you want me to do?”

“I want you to travel down to the Aegean. I need you to deliver something for your grandfather. It’s for Lord Ulmo,” she pressed a wooden box into his hands, its latch shut closed, “in exchange for your cousin’s release.”

“Which cousin?”

“You know who.”

Arakáno reluctantly let the matter rest, knowing that any further questioning would be fruitless. He then turned his attention to the box, gingerly holding it and shifting his grip on it to test the weight. It was as light as a feather. Otherwise, the latch and hinges were a solid gold, and the sides and lid were etched in turquoise and coral designs displaying underwater scenes. The box had a sheen to it, maybe lacquer?

“I don’t think there’s anything in it, Mother.”

“That’s the beauty of it.” She smiled. “Fëanor created the box that way.”

“I assume that I’m not supposed to ask on what’s inside the box?”

“You know the rules. It’s for the box’s,” she gestured at the chest, “and your own safety.” She kissed him on the forehead.

“Anything else?” He tucked the package under one arm, and his caduceus materialized into his grip. His iridescent wings shimmered into existence, gauzy and luminous, fluttering delicately about his shoulders.

“No matter what happens, never let the box fall open. At least not until you arrive at Lord Ulmo’s underwater palace. Keep it safe, and shut. Go down now to the gates, and Ingoldo will give you your gift.”

His mother pinched his cheek good-naturedly. “Good luck.”

 

\--

 

“So Arakáno isn’t here?”

“He isn’t, but I think that your sword is in the stables.”

“I can only imagine.” Maitimo swung himself back up onto his horse, majestic even without his armor. He had come to this side of the palace quite apprehensive and terribly upset about the loss of such a prized weapon. Fortunately, it wasn’t the Aegis that went missing, but still.

“How’d you managed to lose it, if I may ask?”

“My brothers are thieves. They know their way around. A heavily locked door, enchanted with magic even, is no obstacle in the grand scheme of things.”

“Maitimo! I didn’t know you came to visit.” Findekáno, coming in from his stroll in the gardens, smiled brightly at his cousin. He leaned up to give him a peck in greeting, then strode over to give his brother a perfunctory hug. 

“Where are you headed?”

“I came looking for Arakáno. He’s gone off, but my sword’s probably in the stables.”

“Oh. In that case, can I come with you? I’m going to be bored out of my head if it’s just me and Turukáno left in the house. He’s such a spoilsport in games, always blabbering on about wanting it to end.”

“That’s because you always win! It’s like you bribe Aikanaro and the fates every time!” His younger brother folded his arms, scrunching his face in distaste.

“I can’t help it.” Findekáno smiled, grabbing ahold of Maitimo’s hand and slinging onto the back of his horse. “I’m the god of victory.”

“You wish.”

 

\--

 

“So tell me again how you were able to escape Maitimo?”

“Turukáno.”

“Hmm. You do know you owe him, right?”

“Well, mother was there, so… I think I can walk away free.”

“You really think it’s going to be that easy?”

“Are you implying that I don’t know my own brother?”

“I’ll bet you didn’t know that he makes this funny face whenever I suck him off.” Ingoldo made to demonstrate, but Arakáno fixed him with such a look of pure disgust that he just had to laugh.

“But to answer your question, dear cousin, why yes, I will walk away unscathed.”

“He’s the god of beginnings and endings, he’ll be sure to see the end of this little mishap.”

“..fine, I concede. Can you dissuade him from that course?”

“I’ll see if I can fit a blowjob into today’s agenda.”

Arakáno flushed red.

“..you don’t have to.. I-I didn’t mean-”

“Oh, you’re too cute! It’s not like you don’t do the same with the twins.”

The younger of the two glowered at his cousin.

“Alright, alright, I’ll stop teasing.”

“Mother says that you have a gift for me. What is it that you’re supposed to give me?”

“Oh. Just something to guide you in the dark, murky waters of the ocean. I’m guessing that the sea hasn’t recovered just yet from winter. I only got back from the Underworld yesterday, yes?”

“Uncle Finarfin’s been preparing for days already; he finished the gardens on Monday and the whole of Greece yesterday. Oh, and there’s that festival tonight.”

“Father actually wants a bigger celebration this year. I swear, he just gets even more melodramatic as the centuries roll by.”

“You are the ‘light’ of day, remember?”

Now it was Ingoldo’s turn to glower at his cousin, who was chuckling at his own little joke.

“Keep making puns, and I might as well show you what your brother looks like when he cums.”

“Aren’t you supposed to be used to that kind of thing?”

“Just because I have a brother who spouts poetry day and night doesn’t mean that I’m okay with it in general.”

“Ok, so what is your gift?”

Ingoldo took out a necklace, a thin gold chain attached to a diamond the size of a small berry.

“You do know that that’s going to attract unwanted attention, right?”

“Shush. I haven’t explained yet.”

“Then-”

“Do you mind if you shut up for a few minutes?”

Arakáno raised his hands in surrender, mouthing _I’m shutting up now_. Ingoldo shook his head, “This diamond only glows when you’re on the right path, it’ll grow brighter the closer you are to Ulmo. Otherwise, it turns dim.” He waved his hand over the gem, and the clear surface became an opaque black.

“Anything else? Are you sure this diamond is fully functional?”

“It’s fool-proof, Arko, even the dumbest mortal can figure it out.”

“Very well, then. I guess I’m off.” Arakáno circled the large fountain in the middle of the courtyard, stopping when a patch of sunlight hit the water’s sprays, forming a rainbow. “See you later, cousin, and try not to get too drunk at the festival.”

“I’ll try,” was Ingoldo’s equally deadpan reply. Arakáno spread his wings and saluted, a fading mirage in the blowing wind. Left in solitude, the god of riches stood quietly in the empty courtyard, with only the murmuring fountain and the gentle breeze for company.

 

 


End file.
